Falling Through the Cracks: Doug's Story

Doug, a participant at one of Do Good’s motel shelters, shares his experience. This is his story in his own words.

I was the one that fell through the cracks at all the other shelters. I might go in for a bed and somebody else would get it right before me. Or they would hold a bed for me, somebody else would get released from jail, and they’d take it away from me.

I had everything I own stolen: my laptop, my wallet, my debit card, my cell phone, my birth certificate, my passport, my driver license. For the last two years, I’ve been fighting tooth and nail to get all that back.

Being here with Do Good, you guys have helped me so substantially.

It took an eternity to get my birth certificate released from the state of Louisiana, and without these guys here fighting with me, standing beside me, and making sure that I didn’t give up on myself, I’d have never gotten it. I’d have never made it.

I was a carnival worker for almost 2 decades, and I just traveled around the United States. Portland was on my “kind of wanna see it again” list. I came here fifteen years ago for a weekend.

A friend of mine was living up here and said, “Yeah, come and stay with me.”

He ended up passing away, and the landlord wouldn’t sign the lease over to me. It just kind of spiraled down after that.

That was December of 2018. I’ve been experiencing houselessness since that time.

When you do get a bed, staying in congregate shelter [can be] traumatic.

It’s like wherever you sleep at, you can’t really get good sleep, because you don’t know what the next person is going to do. I’ve seen people get voraciously attacked while they’re sleeping by people who are high or people who are just disillusioned, and I mean, that kind of fear really doesn’t enable you to sleep very well. Then the next day you’re more sluggish. It’s harder to get accomplished what you need to get accomplished because you don’t have the adequate rest.

Then again, because you’re carrying everything you own and then going into places for a job when you’ve got your backpack…people are like “no, we don’t want that.”

Having to schedule am I going to eat today or do I need a shower today? Am I going to be able to go charge my electronics? Am I going to be able to talk to my kids today?

The whole “not sure about how you’re going to get to live a life that most people take for granted on a daily basis” is very traumatic. And being here at the Do Good Motel Shelter, all that’s drastically changed.

Being here has been such a substantial help. I don’t have to worry about, “Okay, if I leave this here, who’s going to steal it?” or “Do I have to carry everything I own while I go do outreach?” Because we go on some pretty intense hikes up in the mountains to reach these people that don’t want to be found [to take them essential] resources they won’t get for themselves.

So, with the ability to leave just everything I own in a safe place and I don’t have to worry about it, I’m able to go further and reach more people. And do better and do more of what I enjoy doing.

I took self-inventory a few weeks ago.

Me, a year ago, was in such a horrible place. I was in such a terrible place.

I was depressed. I didn’t know what the world was coming to with the coronavirus. I didn’t know how we were all going to survive it. I didn’t know if I was going to survive it. I lived in fear of the fact that I didn’t have access to a shower, so hygiene wasn’t a steady thing.

That was what scared me the absolute most. If I can’t keep up my hygiene, I’m going to get coronavirus, and it’s going to kill me.

I don’t want to leave my legacy as a guy who died on the streets of Portland.

I started working with Street Roots in December of 2019. Going on two years now.

I started out as a vendor. I was selling papers. Then the coronavirus hit, and we started an action team and outreach team. I was one of the outreach leaders. I was one of the guys that would just take a team and would just go out to one of the different areas in Portland. Then they needed someone who had half a brain to handle the mail counter, because a bunch of the staff had decided to quarantine, and they elected me as the mail guy – because, well, I guess because I’m halfway intelligent.

Since then, I’ve been a census taker. I’ve been trained in Narcan. I’ve been trained in CPR and First Aid. So, I am pretty well trained to do just about anything they need me to over there. When we move into our new building, I have a full-time staff position.

So, this has given me an immense opportunity for growth. And it also introduced me to something I never knew I was passionate about: that’s helping other people.

I just want to thank all you guys at Do Good Multnomah. Y’all are just an amazing group of people. I have never seen people who are so caring to people they have never met ,and you’re just like “open arms.” Anytime you’re having a bad day, you can come grab one of the staff and they’ll never turn a deaf ear towards you. They treat you with the utmost respect because they realize that we are people first and foremost before we’re houseless.

You guys, believe it or not, have been such a huge inspiration. I model the way I treat people after the way you guys have treated me. That’s how I model each one of my encounters.

I have my DMV appointment coming up in a couple of weeks. Then I have a job interview a few days after that. Then it’s just finding a place and moving in.

I would not be where I’m at today without Do Good.